Whoopsie Daisy Read online

  I bet those idiots are still at each other’s throats. Poor Momma and Bel; those boys must be driving them crazy out there.

  “Well, duh,” I reply confidently. “Look at this face! Who could resist this?” I wave my hands around my face like I’m advertising a prize on The Price is Right or some other game show. “Also, I quote movies, love Ace Ventura, and have mastered the art of falling on my face without breaking anything. I’m probably the greatest catch out there.” I bat my eyelashes and twirl my hair and Papa lets out another chuckle while he shakes his head.

  “Oh, there’s no doubt that you are quite the catch.” He smiles. “I mean, look at your parents,” he adds while imitating me by batting his eyelashes and mimicking my game show gestures. His excessive batting of the eyelashes causes us both to erupt in laughter.

  Finally. Papa appears to be back to his usual relaxed self, so maybe I can relax a bit too.

  “But that’s not exactly what I am talking about,” he continues. “Do you remember how I said Momma, and I had to leave our families? How they didn’t approve of my relationship with Momma?” I nod. “Well, that is because we are different. My family comes from a different background, different genetics, than your mother. And our kinds are not meant to be together.”

  Jesus, I’m glad I never met these people; my supposed family. They sound like a bunch of assholes.

  “Okay... that doesn’t sound racist or prejudiced at all.” I scrunch my face in disapproval.

  “Well, technically it makes sense,” he says, confusing me with his apparent support of these bigots. “In fact, Momma and I are the first mix we have ever heard of and that makes you pretty special... a miracle in fact. That’s why we had to run away and keep so many secrets. We had to hide our past to keep you safe. Only a few, trusted people know about us.”

  What the hell is he talking about ‘a miracle’? Who are the trusted people?

  He watches me patiently as I sit there processing what he just said.

  “Do you mean Percy and Bel?” I finally ask. “Is that why they’re here today? Because they know what you’re going to tell me. Are they special, like us?” I ask using air quotes to further emphasise the word special.

  “Yes and no,” he replies. “Percy is more like Momma and Rebel is like me. I suspect Kace and his friend are like me too. Yes, they’re all here because they know but also because they care about you very much.”

  Well, that helps explain things. Not.

  “Okay, so, to sum this up, you’re strange,” I say while gesturing towards him. “Momma is strange. Percy is strange. Bel is strange. You think Kace and Jay are strange. And I am the strangest of all. That isn’t really news to me.”

  He chuckles. “Well, when you put it that way.” He looks at me again for a second and then shrugs. “There isn’t an easy way to say any of this, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. But please remember that everything we have done and all the secrets and lies have all been to protect you and because we love you.”

  His smile is replaced by a strange look. Sadness? Disappointment? Concern? Shame?

  “You’re extremely important and there are some people out there who might want to harm you,” he continues in an unsettling tone. “You mean the world to all of us, everyone who is here today in this house, and no matter what happens I want you to always remember that, Pup. Promise me... promise you’ll always remember that.”

  He clenches his jaw as he awaits my reply.

  What could have happened that is so bad that it’s causing Papa this much distress?

  “Papa, what are you talking about? You are really starting to scare me.”

  “Promise me, Sie,” he demands. His tone is so commanding that it has the same impact as raising his voice.

  “Of course, Papa,” I respond, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. “You all mean the world to me too. There’s nothing you could ever do that would change that. Now, please tell me what’s going on.”

  I do my best to maintain my composure and hold back the myriad of emotions trying to push to the surface. I’m not sure Papa will continue to tell me anything if I have an emotional breakdown. Papa stares at me for a second and then nods before reaching into the side table beside him and pulling something out.

  “Look at this,” Papa says as he hands me pictures of the puppy Momma and Papa used to have.

  I smile as I study the pictures. He was such a beautiful puppy with beautiful white fur and the most amazing light blue eyes. He ran away right after I was born. I would have loved to meet this cute little puppy. I glance at Papa, who is watching me carefully, and hand him the pictures.

  “These are pictures of your puppy,” I say, still confused as to where this discussion is going. “He was so cute. But what does this have to do with anything?”

  “That wasn’t actually our puppy, Sie,” he says. He pauses, as if it is difficult for him to tell me more. With such a vague and confusing statement, I imagine that my parents operate some sort of puppy stealing ring, and this was someone else’s puppy that they stole.

  Could my parents do something like that? Good people don’t do those sorts of things, do they?

  “Those are pictures of me when I was little,” he continues, his eyes locked on mine.

  Well, I definitely wasn’t expecting that one. Papa has officially gone insane.

  I sit there staring at Papa, searching his face for any signs he’s joking. Nothing. Not even a lip quiver to show him fighting back a smile. My brain continues to process what he just said, but it cannot. Instead, it tells me to burst out into a fit of laughter. As I laugh, Papa vainly tries to convince me he was serious about the picture being of him when he was young. I’m laughing so hard now that my stomach hurts.

  “Good one!” I reply, wiping tears from my eyes. “You almost got me there. Seriously?! You are a dog? Let me guess, Momma is a llama?! I have a mama-llama.” I laugh again.

  “No Sie, Momma is not a llama,” Papa says while shaking his head. He still hasn’t cracked a smile. I hope Papa plays poker on his business trips because his face was made for it. “To put it in very, very simple terms, Momma is a very large cat; a wild cat, not a domestic cat. I’m a wolf.”

  Wow! His creativity is off the charts. The award for best performance goes to Papa. Is there a camera in here? Am I on some hidden camera show? Ashton, are you there? Are you bringing back Punk’d? Is everyone in on this joke? I wonder how long they’ve been planning this one.

  “Tiger, Kitten, Pup; I guess that is where the nicknames came from,” I say sarcastically. “Papa even sounds a lot like paw-paw.”

  I’m totally going to pronounce it that way from now on, with a nice southern girl accent. Mornin’ paw-paw.

  “So, basically what you’re saying is that you and Momma are into some hard-core role-playing stuff that involves strange werewolf-like creatures,” I say and then shrug. “Whatever floats your boat. My parents are furries. I’m not sure why you felt the need to tell me that detail about your fetish; I wouldn’t have been upset if that secret never came to light.” I shake my head in disbelief as I continue, not letting Papa interrupt my rant. “So, thank you for this attempted prank, trying to make me feel like some sort of creature that the Winchester brothers would hunt, not to mention sharing unwanted details about your kinky sex-life. It has been a blast, but I think I’m going to go back to my place now and have a long bath and relax, maybe try to wash this conversation out of my brain. This has been a long couple of days.” I stand, stretching my arms over my head and tilting my body side to side. “Have fun getting ready for your trip, I’ll call you guys in the morning before you leave.”

  I walk towards the door but stop and turn back to Papa, who is sitting in the chair shaking his head with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

  “Love ya... Snoop.” I giggle and walk out of the room, leaving the door open for Papa. I pause for a moment in front of a mirror in the hallway, composing myself and wiping and mascara from my chee
ks.

  “Sie, wait!” Papa sighs in defeat.

  Voices filtering from the entertainment room catch my attention and I lean against the wall listening.

  “I hope they have more of those muffcakes. Those things were amazing! Mmm muffcakes! Oh shit, did I say that out loud?” I don’t need to be in the room to know who said that. I can imagine Kace and Bel are probably shaking their heads right now. I snicker and shake my head.

  “Idiot,” Rebel says and then giggles.

  “You literally just ate five minutes ago!” Kace adds. “How can you be hungry already?”

  “What can I say? I’m a growing boy,” Jay replies, no doubt flexing his arms or winking or something.

  Someone grunts—my best guess is it was Kace as he rolled his eyes.

  “Every Alpha needs a B-” Jay starts but cuts himself off. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. “Uh, needs a bet. Get it? Alphabet. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to send messages.”

  Silence. You could hear a pin drop.

  You know it’s a bad joke when...

  The silence is finally broken when Kace clears his throat. “Wow, Jay! Do you have any other terrible children’s jokes you’d like to share during your comedy hour?”

  “Oh, you know I have lots of great jokes to tell,” Jay replies excitedly. “What did the fisherman say to the magician?”

  “Oh no, what have I done?” Kace groans and everyone laughs.

  “Well, that went well,” Papa mutters from his office and I remember why I’m here in the first place.

  I bounce into the entertainment room and clap my hands, grabbing everyone’s attention.

  “You would not believe the stuff Papa was telling me in there,” I say as I strut to the center of the room. Unable to contain myself any longer, I burst out laughing, struggling to form her sentences as the recollection of the most absurd conversation I’ve ever had replays in my mind. “He tried... he said... it’s just so ridiculous that I can’t even repeat it.” I’m sure my face is a deep red colour by now, as the tears stream down my cheeks.

  “Percy... you know what to do,” Momma says and nods to Percy.

  EIGHT

  I’m laughing too hard to form sentences. So much for composing myself before coming into the room. Everyone really had me going with their looks of concern; I’m assuming they were all in on the prank and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. They got me good this time, and I can’t wait to plot my revenge. I sniffle and clear my throat as Momma says something to Percy. I turn to face them as I wipe tears from my cheek.

  In the blink of an eye, Percy is replaced by a beautiful cat. A cat with amazing, vibrant green eyes. The cat is rather large for a house cat; it’s the size of a large dog. I can’t stop staring.

  What the fu-?

  What kind of magic is this? I thought Percy went away to university, not Hogwarts.

  I freeze in place, head tilted, staring at this cat that appeared out of nowhere. Before I know it, Percy is back, and the cat is gone. My mouth drops and I stand there slack-jawed, unable to close my mouth no matter how hard I try.

  “Awe, look at the cute, little kitty cat,” Kace says in a mocking tone. “I have to admit Kit-Kat, you have quite a cute, little kitty nose; I could just eat you up. I always knew you were a little pussy.” Everyone, except Percy, snickers at Kace’s comments. Even Momma lets a small chuckle slip out before covering her mouth with her hand.

  “Why don’t you come over here and say that, you mangy mutt?” Percy snaps back.

  I want to crack a joke about claws coming out, but I, for the life of me, cannot speak. My mouth simply isn’t working. Nothing is working. I’m just standing here looking like a fool.

  “Sie? Sie? Kitten? Are you ok?” Momma sounds concerned, but for some reason, I can’t tell her I’m okay. I can’t even turn my head to look at her. It’s like I’m frozen in a block of ice. Sounds and voices are muted, like I’m underwater.

  What did I just see? Did Percy just...? Did he just turn into a fucking cat? I must be losing my mind. That is the only logical explanation. Or hormones. Maybe something is chemically wrong with me. Or maybe I’m in a coma and this is all just a dream. But what if that’s not it? What if what I saw was real?

  Does that mean what Papa said is real too? But what does that even mean? How can they be cats, wolves, and humans? This is like some cheesy eighties horror movie. And what would that make me? Papa is a wolf, and Momma is some sort of large, wild cat. It almost sounds like I’m going to grow another head on my neck or something crazy like that. Honestly, I would find that more believable than being a werecat? Werewolf? Werepuppykitten? Or whatever I am. Oh God, what the fuck am I?!

  My thoughts are all over the place as my brain struggles to reconcile all of this new information with everything I have ever known about my family, myself, and the world. I can feel my heart racing. Blood pulses in my ears making it difficult to hear anything else. The room gets dark.

  Damn it, not again.

  My eyes flutter open, my attention focussing on the blurry blob sitting beside me on my bed. I ball up my hands and rub my eyes. Opening them again, I recognise the blob as Kace. He reaches over and rubs my arm gingerly.

  “Seriously, again?” I whine. “This is becoming a bad habit.”

  Kace chuckles. “Yes, I think we’d all appreciate it if you stopped fainting.”

  I laugh and nod in agreement. “You know, I never fainted before I met you.” I pause, raising an eyebrow. “Since I met you it has happened twice. I’m seeing a pattern here.”

  “That’s the effect I have on ladies.” Kace winks and we both laugh.

  I’m grateful Kace has been here. He seems to have a special talent for calming me and making me feel safe. That’s exactly the kind of person you want to be around if you find yourself going through a life crisis and randomly falling unconscious.

  “Hey guys,” Momma’s soft voice calls from the doorway. “Sorry to interrupt. Kace, do you mind if we talk to Sie?”

  Kace nods and turns to me again. “Listen, Kitten,” he says as he gently brushes hair from the side of my face, tucking it behind my ear. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I want you to know that I’m always here for you.” He puts his finger under my chin, lifting it so I look into his eyes and see the sincerity behind his words.

  “Yes. Thank you, Kace. That means a lot to me.” I lean into his hand as his thumb caresses my cheek. My eyes roll shut.

  He leans over and places a chaste kiss on my forehead before telling me he’ll talk to me soon. Then he stands up, nods politely at my parents, and walks out of the bedroom.

  “Talk to you soon, Mr. Hot Man-Candy,” I call out as he walks through the door. His laughter reverberates through the hallway as the sound of his footsteps fades.

  “We have a lot we need to tell you, Kitten,” Momma says as she comes and sits at the end of my bed. Papa walks over and stands next to her, rubbing her shoulder soothingly. “Please let us talk and then you can ask us any questions you want, okay?”

  I sit up in my bed and nod as I pull my feet into me to sit cross-legged.

  “I think it will be best if we start from the beginning,” Papa says, piquing my curiosity.

  “As you know, Papa and I met while we were both on vacation when we were little. I was playing on the beach and Papa came over to play with me. We became friends right away.” Momma looks over at Papa, a warm smile forming on her face as he squeezes her shoulder and smiles in return.

  “I was so excited to have someone to play with,” Papa says and tips his head back with a groan. “I was so bored that I thought I would literally die. But then there was this pretty little girl—a girl who knew how to make amazing sandcastles.” Momma raises her hand and giggles.

  They described how they bonded over their love of sandcastles, Christmas, and food, particularly pizza and ice cream. Bold little Momma also told little Papa that she loved his hair and hoped he kept it like that forever,
which he has. Papa has had the same hairstyle as long as I can remember; his hair is long enough to cover his ears, but he keeps it perfectly combed back. It doesn’t look like it’s full of product, and I’ve always wondered what kind of magic he is using to keep every hair perfectly in place.

  “We spent the next two weeks together.” Papa looks at me as he continues. “We would play at the beach, go for ice cream, watch movies, and all sorts of other fun stuff. I was so happy that I found my precious Tiger because, let’s be honest here, vacations with my dad and brothers were very boring.”

  He explains that family trips were always technically working vacations, which meant his family was busy with meetings and they left him to hang around at the resort by himself. They always stayed in high-class, private resorts so there was a lot to do at the resort and it was completely safe to explore on your own. However, a kid can only play in the pool and play basketball alone for so long before boredom sets in.

  “I was supposed to be there on vacation with my family but, like Papa, my family was busy and spent most of their time away from the resort.” I don’t miss the way Momma’s lip twitches as she speaks of her family. “Before Shasta came along, the only people I spoke to were staff and security—not the most entertaining group.”

  “Remember the pranks we used to pull on them, Tiger?” Papa asks as a mischievous smile spreads across his face. “I’m sure they couldn’t wait for us to go back home.” They both laugh.

  “Don’t remind me, they grounded me for a month for that!” Momma replies while shaking her head and they both laugh again as I stare at them in awe.

  “Anyhow, we digress.” Papa winks at Momma, and she leans into his side, resting her head on his hip.

  “That’s quite alright, I enjoy hearing how badass my parents are,” I say with a smile.

  “Oh, we definitely had our moments,” Papa says with a chuckle before he looks over at Momma who is peering up at him. You can’t help but notice how much my parents adore each other. It’s obvious in the way they talk to and about each other and the way they look at each other. Like the completely sappy look they are both giving each other right now as they both think back to their many adventures together.